Ages 14-18
Curfew and Going Out
A curfew works when it's known, reasonable and enforced the same way every time.
Curfews aren't about control; they're about a predictable pattern that tells you quickly when something's wrong. Make them boringly consistent.
Set it by age and earn it up
The number matters less than the fact that it moves in response to behavior. A curfew that never changes tells them keeping it earns nothing.
- Agree the time before they leave, not by text at 11pm.
- Later times are earned by a run of getting home on time.
- Sixth-formers with jobs need a different conversation than fourteen-year-olds.
The running-late rule
Most missed curfews are logistics, not rebellion. Make communication the thing you actually enforce.
- A call — not a text — if they'll be more than fifteen minutes late.
- Calling ahead is fine; going silent isn't.
- Phone stays charged and answered; a dead phone counts as missing curfew.
When they blow it
Keep the consequence small and immediate. Enormous punishments get abandoned halfway, and everyone learns the rule is soft.
- Next weekend is an hour earlier. That's usually enough.
- Do the conversation in the morning, not at 1am in the hallway.
- Repeated silences are a trust problem, and trust rebuilds in steps.
What to say
Agreeing the time
Half eleven tonight. If something changes, ring me — I'd much rather a phone call than a guess.
The morning after they were late
You were forty minutes over and I didn't hear from you. Next weekend's an hour earlier. Do it right and we go back to normal.
Extending it
You've been on time for a month. Midnight from now on. Same deal — ring me if it changes.
Where parents get burned
- Waiting up furious and having the row at 1am.
- Grounding for a month, then quietly forgetting by Thursday.
- Never moving the time, so there's nothing to gain by keeping it.
When to loosen up: Every birthday, and after any month of consistent reliability. It should visibly loosen as they get older.
Your kid isn't the one in the playbook.
Tell Beacon what's actually happening in your house and it'll tell you which of these rules to hold and which one to drop.
ASK BEACONNext up
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